


A Computer Nerd Dates A Computer

by mthevlamister



Series: A Computer Nerd Dating His Enemy [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Alternate universe Squip lives, Annnndddd Nicole in the novel, BLAMEEE, Blame Icymage, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, I Tried, I legit only ship Michael with Jake and Rich, I may do it too, I'm Sorry, I'm doing this to piss off the fandom, Jeremy fucks up, Michael plays hard to get, Michael x Squip, Mostly Jeremy trying to set them up, Nicole is awesome, One Shot, Other, SQUIP helps Michael, SQUIP is in love, Slow Burn, Unless you ask for more, You can leave the hate in the comments, for some reason, i think, trust me - Freeform, uhhh, um, unless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-07 18:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12847389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mthevlamister/pseuds/mthevlamister
Summary: "I'm sorry, what?""My SQUIP wishes to date you."Or:I'm sorry, why did I name The SQUIP 'S'? Why are you reading this? I did it to make y'all hate everything.





	A Computer Nerd Dates A Computer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheIcyMage](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIcyMage/gifts).



> I'm sinning my own writing during this, trust me.
> 
> Also, can ya tell I get confused when they call The SQUIP 'he' in the musical? Because now I don't know what to do.
> 
> Also also: I wanted to call S A the whole time.

Jeremy loved his newfound popularity, it was great! His SQUIP was gone, he was still friends with Michael, they were going to celebrate the next night, but for now it was a party at Jake's place. He was dating Christine, he had all his new friends, he was talking to Brooke and Chloe, all was well! He grabbed a random soda from the cooler near him, popped it open, and took a sip.

"Jeremy, you drank Mountain Dew."

Shit. God he was an idiot! He drank Mountain Dew at Jake's party, what the hell was he supposed to do? "Shit, shit, shit! I can hear it talking to me! Help me out!"

"I have orange, maybe it'll work!" Chloe rummaged through her bag. She grabbed the bottle, throwing it to Jeremy. Jeremy caught it, chugging the whole bottle in one huge gulp, praying to everything he believed this would work. Please, for the love of god, just let something work for once in his life. He took a deep breath, waiting for something to happen. All that really happened was his head began to hurt, not as badly as it did the first time, so maybe it did work out. Chloe shook her friend's shoulder, concern wrapping around her face. "Jeremy?"

"I think I should go home." Jeremy said softly, making a face. "I feel weird, like something's trying to escape my body. . . Maybe I'm sick."

"Do you want a ride?" Brooke asked.

"That's okay, I'll. . . I'll get an Uber, you know?" Jeremy laughed. "Nah, I'll walk."

"Let me give you a ride." Brooke grabbed Jeremy's hand, pulling him out of the party to her car. She drove him home, glancing at the boy who started sweating. "Jeremy, you okay? Need me to stop?"

"No! No, I just. . . It's like I'm giving birth through my brain! Christine got me pregnant, it's official!" Jeremy groaned, holding his head. "I have so much respect for you girls when you're on your periods, because this is probably a third of what you go through, but Christine describes it as this!"

"Oh Jeremy, periods hurt a lot more I bet."

Brooke kept her eyes on the road the whole ride home, when she got him to his house she had to drag him to the door. He was trying not to scream, it felt so painful to him that Brooke could practically feel the pain just by looking. Mr. Heere relieved her of her job, putting Jeremy into bed. "Need anything, Son?"

"No, nothing at all, just hurts." Jeremy curled under his blankets before ripping them off, then putting them back on. "Fuck!"

"Hey, no cursing!"

"It hurts so much!"

"I'll make you some soup." Mr. Heere left Jeremy to his pain and groaning.

Jeremy started crying after one minute of his dad leaving, it stopped hurting after a bit. But that was when he heard a voice he hadn't heard in a long, long time.

"Wonderful, you found a way to turn me human, thank god I managed to turn myself into a teenage version beforehand."

Jeremy froze, turning his head slowly to the beanbag in the corner of his room. There sat a teenage Keanu Reeves, well actually it was his SQUIP, but same thing. "Oh god please don't kill me!"

"I won't, I'm kind of enjoying this new position! I'm a guy! I never been a human before--I guess you don't want me here, I'll be homeless, but I--"

"You can stay!" Jeremy said quickly before realizing what he said. "I mean, uh, I guess you can."

"Really?!"

"You sound like a kid, dude are you okay?"

"I'm excited, and I'm sorry. I was mean, I used you, I never wanted this. I got power hungry, but I now know the joys in life. . . One of them is Michael."

"Woah, woah, woah! What the fuck?!"

"I am interested in Michael, he figured out how to stop me, he had the drink, I like him. I want to gain his affection, he's beautiful." To Jeremy's horror a sigh was let out of the SQUIP's mouth, as a person would do when talking about their crush.

"Oh my god you have a crush on Michael!" Jeremy pointed.

"I also tried to take over the world, this shouldn't be surprising. If anything you should be pissed at me, I was evil!"

"Listen, uh. . ."

"Keanu, just call me Keanu."

"Listen, Keanu, Michael hates you."

"I will love him, I will buy him whatever he wants, I will steal money."

"Dude--"

"I love him."

"You're--"

"He's beautiful."

"My dude--"

"I want to marry him."

See, the problem with SQUIPs were that once they had their mind set they were determined. Jeremy knew that, now the SQUIP was determined. Michael would be his boyfriend no matter what, and the SQUIP would make sure Michael was okay with it beforehand. Jeremy let out a huge sigh, covering all his face but his mouth. "Marry him? You want to marry him? Do you find the fact he tried to kill you hot?"

"No, I just like his style."

"You like his. . . You optic nerve blocked him from me!"

"You allowed it!"

"Yeah but--"

Jeremy stopped when his phone began to buzz, he looked to see who was calling. It was the SQUIP Squad, minus Michael. He sighed, picking it up, making sure The SQUIP wasn't in view. "Heeeeeeey guys!"

"You okay?" Jake asked.

"Um, yeah, guess who's back?" Jeremy's voice cracked.

"Orange didn't work?" Christine asked, her voice was soft.

"It made me human."

Jeremy kicked The SQUIP. "Shut up, Keanu, I'm talking."

"Oh my god, did you just kick a SQUIP?" Jenna grabbed the phone. "Oh my god!"

"He's a human now, look at him! He's not glitching!"

"Holy crap, Michael will kill you!" Rich's eyes were wide, popping up behind Jenna. "Ohhh no!"

"Should. . . Should we add him to the call?" Chloe asked.

Michael refused to hang out with Jeremy's friends, even Rich. He wasn't cool, the experience didn't change anything, they still talked about him when Jeremy wasn't around. There was nothing that could change Michael's position. Every now and then Christine would sit with Michael instead of her friends, it made Michael feel important. Christine, at least, enjoyed him enough. Jeremy picked the right woman, Michael agreed with her opinions and a lot about her. She made weird noises a lot, but he was okay with that. He wasn't okay with most of the other people, and Jeremy knew this. Despite that, he found himself saying, "I guess so."

They waited a minute as Jeremy added him to the video call, then for the ringing, then for him picking up. He was talking to someone off screen, frowning. "I'll get off soon! I promise I'll go for a walk or something, it's Jeremy--please don't." Michael turned to the phone before dropping it. "FUCK!"

"Michael?! You okay?!" Jeremy proceeded to freak out. "What happened?!"

"That was adorable." The SQUIP whispered.

"I wasn't expecting all your--" your had a drop of malice in it. "--friends to be on the call."

"Be ready for more surprises, my SQUIP is back. He's human!"

Look, Michael Mell wasn't totally trusting of Jeremy, they made up, sure, but Michael was still careful. He placed the phone against a book, crossed his arms, and narrowed his eyes. "I thought we got rid of the SQUIP, what the hell? Also he?!"

"Well I accidentally drank a Mountain Dew at a party, and I drank it. We thought Mountain Dew Orange would work the same, and it became a human!" Jeremy let out a nervous laugh. "He's in my bedroom, I've been freaking out slightly, this is why, plus I would never add you to a group call with everyone because you hate calls in general. Also, the damn thing looks like Keanu Reeves, I'm calling it a he. He's human anyway, I might as well." Jeremy rolled his eyes. "You want to talk to him?"

"Yes." The SQUIP whispered, almost a prayer.

"Fuck no!" Michael spat out. "That thing literally took away my only friend, I never want to see it again!"

"About that, he wants to see you." Jeremy gave a small smile.

"Why?!" Michael looked concerned, god why would it want him?

"Wellbecauseitwantstodateyou." Jeremy said quickly.

The whole SQUIP Squad had a big reaction; either gasping, clapping, or laughing. Michael, on the other hand, didn't get it.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"My SQUIP wishes to date you."

"No." Michael said, uncrossing his arms. "No way am I touching that!"

"But--"

"Fuck no!"

"Play--"

"I have to leave, my parents aren't so happy I've been holed up all day, so I should leave." Michael waved Jeremy off.

"Hear me out, he's changed! He really, really, really wants to prove to you he's changed! Give him a chance!"

"How about. . . No." Michael crossed his arms again. "Fuck no."

"Okay, okay, that's fair. . . Just think about it?" Jeremy asked, pouting slightly.

"I'll think about murdering him." Michael promised, leaving the call.

Jeremy groaned, hugging his knees close. "Shit."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but that is the worst thing to say. You just got it back, it tried to kill us all, and you're forgiving." Chloe recapped everything the readers are saying at this point. "Plus setting it up with Michael after everything that happened, that's kind of weird."

"You're right, he needs time to get to know The SQUIP." Jeremy said as if that was the best goddamn solution in the world.

"Yeah, that'll work." Rich was laughing his ass off. "That will totally work out, take it with you when you go over to be a nerd."

"I'm a geek, excuse you." Jeremy joked.

"Is this a good idea?" Christine asked, glancing between her friends.

"Totally, this will be fine." Jeremy assured her.

It wouldn't be. 

* * *

"Michael? I was thinking maybe you could say something?"

"Fine, fuck you Heere."

Michael was pissed at the fact Jeremy brought The SQUIP to their get together, it kind of sucked. He had to let them in, though, because for some reason it was raining. It was the start of fall, and it was raining. He assumed it's because the crazy weather. He still had to let the two of them in, they walked here and if they got sick he'd hate everything. Jeremy was playing AOTD with him whilst The SQUIP watched with interest, it was a cool game, what could he say? Michael was also really good at the game, his tongue would stick out slightly when he got focused, it was super cute to the recently turned human. 

"Well, does it have a name?" Michael asked, fighting off a zombie near him.

"I've been calling him Keanu." Jeremy answered.

"Oh hell no, we're calling it, uh, S." Michael said, reloading his gun.

"You cool with that?" Jeremy turned to the now human. Jeremy took one look at him before knowing the answer, The SQUIP was looking at Michael with an enamored look, which was still really weird to Jeremy. 

"He gave me a name." S, we're calling him that, said softly so only Jeremy heard.

"Yeah, S is cool with it." Jeremy grinned, trading controllers with Michael.

"Good, because I don't want to call it an actual name. It's less human that way, and I think it's less than a bug." Michael huffed out.

"Ouch, that hurts." S said, clutching where his heart probably was. Jeremy and Michael weren't entirely sure he had one, but they were hoping he did. "Words hurt, Michael."

"So does taking my best friend away from me." Michael said, rolling his eyes. 

"That was partly me." Jeremy said softly, taking the blame for S. It wasn't like he owed S anything, he just. . . kind of shipped it? Christine taught him the ways of Tumblr and shipping enemies, so he kind of got into the ship of Michael and S. He would text Christine later to tell her she had converted him to her evil, fangirl ways. "I told him he could turn optic nerve blocking back on."

"Yeah, but I forgave you, I haven't forgave  _that_ yet." Michael glanced at S, who was staring at him intensely. "Dude, you're creeping me out."

"Staring for too long creeps people out, why am I forgetting that?" S asked himself, looking down at his hands.

"So it's living with you?" Michael whispered to Jeremy.

"Yeah, I can't let him be homeless, anyway he's different." Jeremy whispered back.

"It played you once, what if it's playing you again?"

"Then I murder him, he's human now. No glitching, right? He'll have to go to school with me, I know that'll suck but would you help us out?"

"Fine, but I won't be its friend."

"He's a--"

"It's an it."

"Whatever you say, Michael."

* * *

It was a day when Jeremy decided to sit with his new friends during lunch, Christine following. Michael was alone, again, and it sucked, but he learned to deal with it. He ate and didn't complain, trying hard not to glance at the table full of laughing, happy people whilst he was alone and miserable. He began to eat quietly when S sat with him, much to his discontent and annoyance. "What do you want?"

"Why are you sitting alone? This seems lonely, I wanted to sit with you, no one's real fond of me." S replied, tilting his head ever so slightly.

"Gee, I wonder why."

"Why are you alone? Aren't you all friends after destroying me?" 

Michael squinted, looking for signs of mockery on S's face, but he found nothing. "If you must know, I'm still not popular. They're cool, I'm not, there's a gap. Jeremy has them and me now, he'll sit with them sometimes and with me sometimes. It's not a big deal, is it?"

"Yes it is, you should be so famous. You saved the entire world, Michael, that's amazing! You should be the most popular person here!" S gushed, hoping he didn't seem too human. Michael, in his self deprecating ways, was surprised by the computer-human's words, he wish he thought of himself this way. "You. . . You don't think so either?"

"Not really? I sort of accepted my position as a loser." Michael shrugged.

"You could be more, like you could be the most popular guy if we just--"

"If you say change my looks and personality I will personally end you."

"--build up your confidence!" S finished.

"Oh, that's. . . actually kind of nice and not expected. I wanted to say heartwarming, but it's not?" Michael spared S a small smile before quickly frowning. "How would you do that?"

"I don't know yet, in an ideal world it would be to tell you, but that won't work. We could do faking it until you make it, or maybe just try sitting with them." S gestured over to them, Michael took a glance only to see Brooke watching them and flinching when they made eye contact. 

"I can't, no one wants me too." Michael looked down.

"I think Jeremy and Christine wants you to." S said, gesturing again.

"Yeah, but no one else wants me there!"

"I would."

"We're not on that level yet."

"Fair, okay."

Michael grabbed his water bottle, he decided to rehydrate for once in his life, taking a sip of it. "So do you not eat?"

"Uh, I do, but I don't know what I like."

"Try this."

Michael held up a piece of sushi to S, grinning. S took it in his mouth, eating the sushi slowly. S's eyes grew as he swallowed it, a grin breaking from his lips. "That's amazing, what is that?!"

"Negimaki, only the best, probably slightly unhealthy but what isn't?" Michael shrugged, smiling back. It was as if they were friends, Michael had to remind himself he hated S, S was an asshole--well, used to be at least. "Want more?"

"Yes!"

* * *

"They're sharing sushi." Brooke reported, sticking her tongue out. "Michael knows we're watching, we made eye contact."

"That's so cute." Jake said, leaning on his palm. "Christine, you're convincing me too now."

"I'd hope so, it's a cute ship." Christine pumped her fist in the air.

"I wish I was there, it seems fun over there." Jeremy sighed.

"Whatever." Chloe rolled her eyes.

* * *

"That's nice."

"And he shared sushi!"

"Really?"

"Jeremy! I'm so happy!"

"I can tell S."

Jeremy was walking home with S, listening to him boast about Michael. It was almost cute, Jeremy had to admit that to himself, S was so excited about Michael. Jeremy wished he could show Michael all that S was saying, it was the best thing, but for now they would deal with getting Michael to befriend S. Jeremy frowned when S stopped talking and made a poker face. "What's up?"

"Well, it's creepy to talk about him when we're not friends." S shrugged, looking at Jeremy. 

"You can talk about him with me." Jeremy promised, smiling.

"Cool, because I need to get his confidence up and you're going to help me!"

"I'm down for that, how?"

"I think you should remind him how wonderful and funny and sweet and sexy he is."

"I'd rather not." Jeremy admitted, holding up his hands up. "I don't want to say that about my best friend--"

"His confidence needs the full homo, just don't do it too much so he gains feelings for you."

"I'll try not to." Jeremy rolled his eyes.

"Don't make me pinch you."

"Is that your new shock?"

"Yes."

Jeremy laughed, punching S lightly. S pushed him back, both of them joking around about the past. It was a better way to turn a new leaf, easy for them to move on from everything that happened. They raced each other to the door, pushing each other to be the first one in the house. Jeremy knew he shouldn't have forgiven S right away, but he had to. The damned thing did something any normal human would do, don't believe him? Look up the Stanford Prison Experiment, everyone gets power hungry and hurt other people. I'm not kidding, they actually beat these people when told they couldn't physically harm them.

So Jeremy decided to forgive The SQUIP. 

"Sooooo we're going to, what, compliment him until he believes it?" Jeremy asked, setting his stuff down.

"Uh, yeah, but mostly you because he hates me." S answered, sitting on Jeremy's bed.

"Maybe invite him to my table?"

"Just make sure they're not being assholes."

"You said popular people share a dislike or a connection, they don't like him, he's an easy target, how do I make them not assholes?"

"Threaten their lives."

"No."

"Ask them politely."

"God no."

"Say 'oh, hey you guys, Michael is coming over so be decent' and glare slightly."

"Noooooaybe."

"I have a maybe, that's good enough for me."

"Oh shut up!"

"Plus I won't sit with you guys, so Michael can be free to be himself if he wants."

"He won't."

"I know."

* * *

Michael felt. . . odd to be sitting with Jeremy's friends, it didn't feel right. He was an eighth wheel, if there was such a thing. There were seven of them, one of him, it just didn't feel right. Jeremy was obviously trying to include him in their conversations about whatever, but Michael wasn't all that interested. 

"So how come that thing isn't with you?" Michael asked Jeremy, blessing the squad with his voice.

"S didn't want to upset anyone by being here." Jeremy explained.

"He wouldn't bother me." Chloe said with a shrug. 

"Well  _it_ should be here then." Michael snapped before calming down and smiling. "Sorry, still kind of pissed."

"You're the most forgiving guy I know, Michael, what's up?" Jeremy was speaking again, trying to understand his best friend.

"I don't know, I think I'll forgive it in a bit, it's hard when it talks badly about you or blocks you out of its life or would rather you die--" as Michael spoke the SQUIP Squad, minus Christine, looked down with guilt. "--it's kind of difficult to forgive them, it's really difficult. I also have trouble regaining trust, I have trouble trusting you sometimes Jeremy, it's hard."

"I know it's hard, but--"

"Nah, I'll be friends with it when I damn please. It is showing more human emotions, which is totally weird but kind of cool. I mean a computer that's human, this is revolutionary Jeremy! You should be on TV, that would--ah, nevermind." Michael looked down, unused to the looks he was receiving. They looked almost interested, as if they wanted him to say more. He wasn't used to that, no one wanted him to continue except Jeremy, but Jeremy was more focused on arguing with Michael.

"No, no continue." Rich made a circular motion with his hand, urging him to go on.

"You'd work with a computer, talk about software with him, and you're set." Jeremy joked.

"I. . . Does he still have all his knowledge?" Michael asked.

"So now he's a he?" Jenna was smirking, leaning forward.

"I meant it. Does it still--"

"I think so, yeah."

Michael was silent for a bit, squishing his lunch down into the plate it was on. Why did he buy school lunch again? He hated school lunch, jesus, why would he subject himself to this? Why would he subject himself to anything? Why was he considering subjecting himself to the previously-known-as-a-SQUIP. He didn't know anymore, but he kind of felt the need to. "Is it using mind control on me, is this like that one sci-fi movie we watched?! Where the guy used mind control to make the chick fall in love with him?! Are we living in that world?! Because I want to talk to that thing, and I hate that thing!"

"It's called interests, you really really are interested in him." Brooke waggled her eyebrows. 

"Next you'll want him to hold you on cold, stormy nights." Chloe cooed, as if they were friends.

"Uh, only I can make that joke because you guys aren't as close to Michael as I am." Jeremy said, getting. . . oddly protective of his best friend.

"We'll have to fix that." Jake stated simply.

"Wha?" Michael was confused.

"You're invited to my next party, there, now we're slightly closer." Jake said, ignoring the obvious look he was getting from Chloe. He knew she didn't want Michael anywhere near them, but he honestly didn't care.

"For the record, I would never ask or want it to hold me on cold, stormy nights. That's gross and weird, no way Chloe."

"Whatever Michael."

* * *

"Oh, sure, I can talk nerdy to you."

"Don't, uh, think of this as anything other than me being a nerd."

"Of course."

"Just two. . . now people talking computers."

"Mmhm."

"Yeah, not--"

"Do you want to do this not awkwardly in front of Jeremy and Christine?"

"Yeah, let's go to my place."

"Okay."

* * *

An hour of computer talk turned into two, then three, then four. They started talking about high school and college, about food, and literally anything they could. Michael didn't even notice it was past eleven and he had four missed calls from Jeremy. S ended up sleeping over too. Michael didn't even notice until he was brushing his teeth, and he saw the SQUIP-now-human asleep on the very left side of his bed. Michael, in plaid PJs and a (probably stained) white shirt, couldn't help but smile at the figure. "Oh god, I have to tuck it in."

"No you don't." 

Michael blinked, looking at the old SQUIP who was sitting up, he waited until S got under the covers before speaking. "No, lay back down. Want anything to drink? Tea? Coffee? Hot cocoa?"

"Nah, I'm good."

"Okay. Er, want me to sleep on the couch?"

"I mean, if you feel more comfortable there, but I'd rather you be here."

Michael sat down on his bed, this was obviously a very difficult choice. Does he go to the couch, where he knows he's alone and can be himself, or does he sleep next to a previously computer asshole? As he thought it through the choice was obvious, he had to sleep next to the asshole. It was a must, this is a goddamn fic, of course it was. He laid down, crawling under the covers. "Promise you won't turn into a computer and take over my body?"

S laughed, turning to look at Michael. "I can't do that. You know that, right?"

"I figured as much, now go to bed, I'm tired." Michael mumbled, reaching for the light. 

"Did you tell Jeremy I was staying here?"

Both of them were silent for a minute until Michael sat up and dove for his phone, S began to share how pissed Jeremy was going to be at them.

And pissed he was.

**Player_Two: Michael???**

**Player_Two: It's nine and he's not back!**

**Player_Two: DUDE**

**Player_Two: did you murder him????!!!**

**Player_Two: MICHAEL**

**You have ten new messages from Player_Two!**

**Four missed calls from Player_Two!**

**You have sixty four new messages from Player_Two!**

Michael gulped, knowing he was dead. He called Jeremy back, waiting for the ringing to stop.

"Michael. . ." Jeremy's voice was deep and. . . oh yeah he was pissed.

"Sorry! We got distracted!" Michael was trying to stay as quiet as possible to not bother Jeremy anymore than he already had. "I'm so so sorry!"

"It was my bad." S promised, he was going in and out of being asleep. "I'm just goooonnnna stay here."

"Fine, jeez I thought Michael actually murdered you and I got worried you murdered Michael in defense." Jeremy was still pissed but a bit calmed down. "Okay, okay get some sleep. Love you Michael, see you tomorrow at school, okay?"

"Okay, love you too bro." Michael said, hanging up.

"Do you have feelings for Jeremy?" S asked once he was sure Jeremy wasn't able to hear anymore.

"Nah, we're just bros." Michael promised, laying back down. "Go to sleep, I have school in six and a half hours."

"I'll make you coffee."

"Make me a latte, and I will marry you--wait no."

"Too late, it has been noted, latte it is."

"Shit, okay fine, but the marriage comes later."

"I'll take a marriage when you're ready." 

* * *

"You actually made me a latte? Woah, did you make an AOTD design with foam?" 

"I want that marriage."

* * *

Michael felt awkward sitting at Jake's party. Jeremy tried to talk to Michael for a bit, but Chloe took him away. Chloe seemed to really hate Michael for some reason, and he couldn't explain it. No one could explain why Chloe had a grudge, but she had to have a good reason--or at least Michael hoped she did. It would kind of suck if she was just mean to him after everything that happened, but he didn't do anything for her. It would make sense if she didn't care because he did everything for Jeremy--that's a lie. He did it for himself too, he hated being alone. He really, really hated being alone, and here he was.

Alone.

"Hey Mike." 

Scratch that.

Michael looked up as Jake Dillinger sat down next to him, grinning like a madman. His party was bitching, according to Jake, and everyone was having fun. It was a relief to know Michael hadn't ruined the entire thing for being invited, so there was that. "How you doing? I know we don't talk much, but it means the world to Jeremy that you're here. I wanted to make you feel, I don't know, included. That's the whole point of the party, actually, to bring us all together one last time." Jake was speaking again, looking at Michael. "Beer?"

"I'd rather have some pot, if I'm honest." Michael joked, and was. . . oddly surprised (and pleased) when Jake seemingly pulled a joint out of thin air. "Dude."

"I have edibles too, probably a bowl too, don't know where that one is." Jake grinned. "Need a light?"

"You know, that would be great. Set me up, Jakey D."

"You got it Mikey M--that does not work."

"Nope, stick with Mike--"

"I thought we could've bonded--"

"That was a train wreck--"

"Mike it is."

"Good."

Michael grinned, sharing the joint with Jake for the next. . . thirty minutes or so, he lost track of time, when Jeremy caught them and joined the circle of pot. Jenna came by next, walking past and stopping to sit with them. Jake mumbled something about needing the bowl for this, and Rich came by just with the tool. When Jake asked where he found it Rich replied it was in Jake's mother's ass. That stung a bit more than it should have since his parents were gone, but it was also incredibly funny to the extremely high Jeremy and Michael. Jake laughed it off too, because goddamn Michael had a beautiful laugh. Christine was next, starting a lecture until Jake told her the brownies were 100% pot, and she ate two of them already, so she sat down and shared. The party had died down to the original squad at this point, plus Michael and Jeremy, so when Brooke and Chloe saw them all it was up to those two to choose. Brooke dove in, placing herself next to Michael and taking the bowl whilst Chloe grabbed the brownies from the other room. When she sat down it was complete, it felt almost wonderful, maybe S should've been there, maybe she didn't like Michael, but it was okay for now.

"Truth or dare, never have I ever, what's your poison?" Jenna asked Michael, grinning.

"I will play anything as long as it's not spin the bottle, that sucked." Michael rolled his eyes.

"Okay so what?! I had synagogue friends, and you had to make out with one of them!" Jeremy defended the game they played in eighth grade. "It was. . . seven minutes in heaven anyway!"

"My sexual awakening, eighth grade, making out with some Jewish boy in your closet." Michael shot a look at Jeremy.

"Did you two end up going in?" Christine asked, leaning forward. Everyone could practically hear her thoughts: boyf riends, boyf riends!

"Yeah, and Jeremy bit my fucking tongue."

"Michael you literally slapped my ass! I wasn't expecting that!"

"It was a beautiful ass."

"Was?! Excuse me!"

"Okay, enough." Chloe held up her hands. "Everyone shut up, it's annoying. Never have I ever it is, who wants to go first?"

The room was silent until Jake raised his hand. "Never have I ever kissed Jeremy Heere."

Everyone put a finger up except Jenna, Jeremy, and Jake.

"Rich!" Brooke's eyes widened.

"What? I wanted to, he told me I could." Rich defended himself, shrugging. 

"He wasn't half bad." Jeremy blew a kiss to Rich, grinning. "Should we play this with shots or just fingers."

"I'm really drunk, fingers are fine." Chloe promised.

"Never have I ever had sex." Jenna, as her ace self (she was fine with hearing about it, but the act grossed her out), said. Everyone except Michael put a finger up, which caused a little bit of shock for Jake.

"You. . . never. . ."

"I made out with some people, I've watched porn once with Jeremy--that was something else--but sex never was a big deal. I don't need it, I'm not Jeremiah fucking Heere, porn was once." Michael shrugged again. 

"Hey!" Jeremy protested.

"I'm more shocked Christine did have sex." Michael continued.

"Jeremy and I are intimate, what can I say?" Christine cooed.

"Annnnnnnd I am now scarred with the idea of innocent Christine having sex with that." Michael whispered.

"I'm going to kill you Michael."

"Shut up Jeremy."

"Okay! Never have I ever stripped!" Brooke chirped, seeing Chloe, Michael, and Jeremy put a finger up. "Oh my god, Michael!"

"Rich you totally stripped!" Jeremy pointed at the shorter boy.

"I lifted my tank, I didn't take it off." Rich claimed, winking.

"I stripped for Jeremy, he likes a show." Michael said in a low voice, totally accepting the brownie that was forcefully shoved into his mouth by the Jewish boy.

"Michael likes a show, not me." Jeremy claimed, crossing his arms.

"Literally stripped only for Jake." Chloe said, but she knew no one cared, they cared mostly about Michael.

"Never have I ever had a weird ass kink--and if you need to ask, then it's weird." Michael readjusted himself as he spoke. Everyone but Jenna and Brooke put up a finger, making Michael choke on air. "Christine!"

"I like having stage directions read to me, telling me what to do, but they have to sound like stage directions." Christine said in a quiet voice.

"Okay, never have I ever played D&D." Chloe spat out, glaring at Michael.

Michael made eye contact with her before looking down and holding up a finger. Jeremy and Rich soon followed, Brooke looked at the three of them before speaking. "Woah, you guys are nerds."

"We know." Jeremy deadpanned, looking at her. "Trust me, we know."

"Never have I ever skipped play practice!" Christine glanced, everyone except her and Michael putting a finger up. 

"Never have I ever been not bi, like even kid me liked men." Rich said, watching everyone put fingers up. 

"Never have I ever stayed up until one am crying because my best friend had to go to the hospital because he broke his arm by catching me when I was falling off of a tree that was literally ten feet off the ground." Jeremy saw Michael put a finger up, and when Jake began he continued. "It was a cherry tree." Jake's finger went down.

"You asshole." Michael hissed.

"You were trying to get me with kinks, I got you back." Jeremy was grinning.

"Ha!" Jake punched Michael's arm.

"Shut it, Jake." Michael shot back.

"Mike staying up crying--"

"You did too!"

"Fair enough--"

"Ahem! The game!" Chloe gestured, crossing her arms.

Michael nodded slightly, allowing the game to continue as he remembered to thank S for helping him get ready for another one of Jake's parties.

* * *

"They all like you."

"Chloe doesn't."

S and Michael met at a cafe, it wasn't odd for them to do this anymore. They were slowly becoming friends, actually they were basically friends right now. It was like a game of Sims, they became friends quickly and had to work to make sure it stayed that way. S sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Chloe likes me even, how do you manage this?"

"Don't remind me, she just hates my guts I think!"

"Well that's stupid, but everyone else likes you at least."

Michael shook his head. "Yeah but Chloe is top dog, she even rules over Jake! I can't beat that, there's no way I can beat someone who rules over Jake Dillinger."

"I'm sure it's a misunderstanding, we can get you two to be friends--"

"Why do you care again?"

"Because I want to date you."

"Ah, that's why."

Michael took a sip of his tea, grinning. S stuck out his tongue before taking a quick bite of his muffin and speaking. "Why don't you impress her with your shared dislike of Madeline."

"Madeline literally threw hot soup in my lap, I will gladly do this."

S smiled at Michael, nodding slightly and eating the rest of his muffin. Michael had to hand it to S, because the butterflies in his stomach were flying everywhere and dating S seemed really intriguing.

That was for another day.

For now they just shared a sweet, awkward kiss and felt the awkwardness of it even when they were both in a different building.

* * *

"Madeline is a bitch." Michael said softly when Chloe was talking about her to Jeremy and Brooke. If anything in the world shut Chloe up hearing sweet, innocent, nice Michael say that sure did. "She only thinks about herself and her popularity over others, she has no chill, and she can't keep a boyfriend because she gets bored of the one she's dating in the moment."

"I mean, I know she attacked you before but this is something else Michae--" Jeremy was cut off from completing the last letter of Michael's name by Chloe.

"She attacked you?! God, what a bitch! I thought she was just trash, not a fucking animal!" Chloe ignored her years of attacking Michael in this moment. "She's the worst!"

"I know!" Michael agreed.

Brooke and Jeremy watched as their best friends began to connect and complain, leaving the two others relieved that they finally stopped fighting.

Now Brooke and Jeremy had to worry about Chloe, who just dubbed that she must protect Michael from the world.

Michael was now Chloe's favorite.

* * *

In hindsight Michael should have told Jeremy he had other friends, ones online that he met whilst researching the SQUIP that were nerds like him. It wouldn't have ended like this if he did tell Jeremy, but alas, he didn't. Jeremy invited the whole squad, including S, to Michael's with him. Jeremy wouldn't have found out the hard way if he just texted Michael beforehand, but now he knew the terrible truth that Michael had friends all over the world.

And he played D&D with them like he and Jeremy used to.

"Okay, so I'm talking to the dwarf in the cool armor and with the giant ass bow." Michael made his voice nasally. "Give me your fucking money--" Michael's voice returned to normal. "Do I have to roll for intimidation?"

A female voice came from the other side. "Yes, and the dwarf has a 16."

"Uhhhhh, yes! 20!" Michael cheered.

"The dwarf gives you all his money and also weapons out of fear."

"Michael?" Jeremy sounded heartbroken. "You're in a different campaign than ours?"

A male voice from the other end of the computer spoke. "Who is that?" 

"Friends, I have to leave." Michael exited out of his tab, turning to the group. "Thanks, I reeeeaaaaally wanted--oh hi S."

"Hello Michael." S blinked once, looking directly in his eyes. Michael bit his lip slightly, he could kind of feel the kiss still, it meant that much. "Don't--jesus Michael."

"Is. . . did I miss something?" Jeremy asked.

"Yes." Michael and S answered at the same time.

"Great, they're banging." Rich deadpanned, patting Michael on the back ("when did you get over here?" "Magic!") and moving to sit on his bed.

"We're not banging!" Michael hissed out.

"Just kissing."

"Once! It's weird now, okay? I don't deal with attraction, this is anti-me, because it is making me confused. The government is making this happen, I blame our government." Michael crossed his arms.

"I'm from Japan--" S started.

"It's our government!"

"Can you two just please date." Chloe begged, pouting. "I'll get money!"

"Yes--wait no--I mean--ah!" Michael covered his face. "Yes, sure."

"Ha! Brooke, you owe me twenty!" Chloe pointed at Brooke.

"Wait, really?" S asked.

"Yes." Michael confirmed.

"Good, now we can finally move on from this! Anyway. . ."

* * *

It had been fourteen years since then, Michael and S finally settled down in an apartment, seeming to never get sick of one another. Michael said S was using his powers, S said it was because he was so handsome. Michael wrote books on SQUIPs and other cool things, making them works of fiction. S worked at a book store, oddly enough, and loved Michael everyday. It was a warm yet rainy night. S finally returned home from work to find his boyfriend curled up with tea and a computer. "I'm home, how was your day?"

"Lonely without my computer." Michael said softly. "Come cuddle me. It's storming, and you're supposed to hold me when it's raining."

"Someone told Chloe that--"

"Shut up and hold me."

S chuckled before sitting down and wrapping his arms around Michael. 

Michael laughed thinking how his parents said he loved his computer too much.

They didn't know a thing yet.

**Author's Note:**

> This took a week to write, I'm sorry. . . I'm going through some stuff that I'm working on alone. . . It's been difficult to balance writing this and working on myself, so I'm trying.


End file.
